Steviness's Blog
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I was on TV!
1/8/08 0 CommentsWell, I never thought the epi where I got naked would be shown!
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Loyal Fest o7?
10/7/07 3 CommentsDoes anybody know when the Mindfreak Loyal fest is? I would love to go and get use out of my membership VIP card.
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Da' Cubbies
10/4/07 0 CommentsI am cheering on the cubs! Go CUBS!!!
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been awhile
9/21/07 2 Comments......been a long time since I last wrote. My life has been flooded with crap! I lost a very special friend to a stroke, he was only 32. I had to move very suddenly, and Im very unhappy as a whole. So I am in a transition period. I cant look to Criss anymore for inspiration. He doesnt inspire me as much as he does for other people. I admire him, and I think he is a great performer. I respect him for following his goals. I envy his determination. I cannot see those things in myself. That's my problem. How can I see them in other people, if I cannot see them in myself. It doesnt make sense.
I am trying to re-invent myself. I want to find a career that involves music. Im not the teacher-type, even though I teach. I dont see my self in front of a classroom. I am eclectic, with piercings and tattoos. As much as I enjoy them, they hinder me. I wont change because someone tells me too or if I want that job, I have to become a robot or anything.
Criss is a fantasy for me. The 'what ifs' and 'i wishes' I dream about Criss wanting to meet ME. I dream of Criss searching for something that only I can give. I cannot depend on fantasies. I cant afford to. monetarily and mentally. I feel as though I am losing my mind.
I dont know what I want- in any realm. I just cant figure it out. I only know what I dont want. And that is only crap.
If per-chance Criss should EVER read my blog. Just know that you are amazing and Im proud to support you in your art. Im am loyal to you, even if I dont re-new my fan club membership, it's not because of you. It's because I am unsure of the value of it.
I dont know what I am talking about. I am rambling so...I met Criss once, and all I wanted at the time was for him to remember me. I figure getting naked would be a sure way to get him to remember me. (photo) was taken at demo in Vegas in march07. Im not blonde or have huge knockers....Im average with piercings anfd tattoos.
ok, well......
All loyals that I have met are super people and I would not trade the experiences I have had for anything.
MAybe Im just jealous.....maybe im crazy.
I dont know.......
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Season opener
6/6/07 1 Commentok, season 3 is going to take me for a ride! I better hold onto something. Criss, c'mere (jk)
Im such a sap. Criss cried about his dad, thqt made me think about my dad. I have no idea what would make my dad proud of me. I wasnt old enough to impress him when he was taken from me. I mean, I was 18...rebellious and beautiful. Spiritual and musical. open-minded to the point where I was as easy to read as an open book. I can only hope that my dad is watching me go though life, and wishing he was here with me (ok, nose tickle.....you know what that means......teary eyed now...)
ok, "lips of an angel' just came on... I love that freaking song.
ok, keep on keeping on.....
